To Myself, and everyone else if they want. Oh and to Carter as well

What to say, what to say... this started as an unfinished letter to you in the hospital in Asheville, North Carolina. I wanted to say something to you, something personal and private. I wanted to explain why and where you were from and the circumstances surrounding your entrance into this world. But, it was never finished. You came fast and sudden, blue and unable to breath on your own. But you were beautiful and mine. So this, this is me attempting to finish that letter to you I started awhile ago in the hospital, trying to tell you a little about myself and the world as I see it. About God, love and your dad, about things that sometimes hurt and make us cry. But mostly beauty. My hope is that through putting pen to paper (figuratively now of course) that your mother, will be more than someone who wipes your nose, ties your shoes, grounds you, watches you, weeps for you. But through paper I can become flesh. Real.
Love,
M